#035It's so hard to say good bye...Knowing that each passing day life goes on, and yet you miss a loved one you so dearly love and try to comprehend that they are really gone. All of a sudden on a somewhat perfect day nothing made sense anymore...nothing about life made sense. One minute everything seemed normal and just that early morning getting that call shook every reason of my existence...how is it possible that I plan out my daily schedule without considering the "what if" of the one thing that is vital,"LIFE"...I still cannot phantom that Mama isn't here anymore...I've never been able to appreciate all the years she remained in the family stone. I stare back at her picture from my sisters wedding, which was the last time I saw her...I remember hugging her soft body as she sat back smiling at the guests...I hate to now say "WAS" instead of the usual "IS" that indicates living. I am beyond words of how to begin to express how loss feels...I do know it's not what anyway wishes for. It's been a full week and I can only begin to live again by "redefining life."